War - Being a Child

Being a military child is not an easy life and then compile this lifestyle with war it becomes a different life all together. Military children come from different cultures and experience a life unlike that of other children. My son was born to dual military parents and add to the factor that he was born during the beginning surges of the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns; he has felt a different impact of war than that of nonmilitary children.

He was two years old when his father and I both deployed for a fifteen month combat tour in Iraq. He was fortunate to stay with his Aunt Laura, who loved him like her own, but he would talk often of his mom and dad and how much he missed us but the understanding of why were were away was very difficult. When we returned from this tour it was a very hard transition for him to live with us again. There was always resentment and anger towards as well as the the missing of Aunt Laura, since he has been with her for quite some times and much of his memories were with her. 

Dad and Tre in 2013

When my son was eight, it was time for dad to leave again. This was a shorter combat tour to Afghanistan. The days and weeks after this smiling picture were filled with sadness and loneliness that was difficult to understand. Tre often slept in my bed because he claimed I was lonely even though we know he was trying to express his feelings. The transition home after dad being away  was a better than when we was much younger. We were able to bring dad into our routine and Tre was so excited to share all the new things he learned while dad was away. 

Dad and Tre in 2016

A few years later we found ourselves on familiar turf with another combat tour for dad. This round was in Iraq and with my son being older he was more aware that not all parents return home. There were talks and questions of dads safety often. The phone communication for this tour was limited compared to past tours and this took a real toll on Tre as he was becoming a young man who really needed his dad. The transition back was rocky and Tre began to act out in violent ways. This led to many suspensions from school. Many months of heartbreak and acting out eventually calmed when it become clear that dad would not be leaving again. 

Each of these operations due to war have brought new challenges. The emotional toll and stress of each one has changed my child over the years. He understands why his dad does these things but that does not make it easier. He is only one of many children who face this challenge. Some even have to handle this on a more recurrent status. We will take each deployment as a single incident and face any challenges that my present itself for my son but I often wonder how different his life would be if he would not have to worry about these impending separations of his father to combat areas.

My Connections to Play

Growing up, much of my place took place outdoors and it was not unusual to see me tagging along behind my three older siblings. These two quotes perfectly describe my upbringing because we were outside to keep our mother sane an also she knew the play we would get within out neighborhood was something that would help us develop into great people one day. 

Since the bulk of my play took place outdoors, three essentials pieces of that play would be a swing set, a bicycle, and some barbies. I would spend so many hours out back on my families swing set with my siblings or friends where we would create fun games or have contests. A bicycle was a must in my neighborhood growing up. I learned to ride on a ten-speed because that is what my family had and could not afford a special small bike for me. My older brother or sisters would help me get going and then I would jump off when we got to our destination. There was never any fear or anxiety about it because that was just how we did things. The barbies we a huge role in my childhood. My best friend and I would play and play and come up with different stories for each doll. When our time was up for the day we would put them in specula places and then the next time we played together we would continue the same story and dialogue. I did not have too many, maybe about three and my mom made most of the clothes for the dolls too. 

From my mother, to my siblings, to my childhood friends; play was so important to my upbringing and I was so fortunate to have so many people in my life to support this. It never felt like I was doing much, but as I reflect on it now I can understand the importance of these free times to explore and learn on my own or with others. Being supported (very encouraged to not come home until the streetlights came on) by our mother really offered such a great opportunity. 

 For me, play for children today is not quite the same as it was when I was a child. We were always out and about our neighborhood or riding our bikes many blocks to a friend or relatives home, all of this completely without adult supervision. Yes, my older siblings were there (most of the time) but my oldest sibling is only five years older than me so there was not so much in the way of supervision. Today, most children do not get this opportunity to freely explore and discover. Most parents are always rather close by with cautionary words and I think this dampens the cause and effect exploration that many children need. Most of the play occurs indoors because of the amount of technology children are encountering in our current society which really is leading to a lack of skill development, particularly gross motor skills. Children today really need to "un-plug" and get outdoors to explore and play more. Fancy toys and gadgets are not needed as the imagination can create so much when this free play is offered. 

 As I grew older an my play transitioned to more indoor forms of play as well as exploring other interests, such as instrumental music, I feel those early years really gave me a strong foundation for problem solving. I am able to look at things and keep trying until I can figure something out. Now in my professional life, I am able to look back on games and songs I knew and played and a child and enjoy them with my students. It always beings a joy to my heart to see the smiles on their faces as they light about like I did many years ago. 

Photo credits: amazon.com, bargainstobounty.com, joueclubliban.com, pinterest.com

Relationship Reflection

We are all social creatures by nature, some of us are more social than others. 

I am a slow to warm type of person. I will be shy and quiet until I get to know you and then I am there for you and will speak freely with you. I have been so blessed to have many great people in my life. Relationships are so important to me because of the support each one offers as well as what I offer them. I love being there for people and helping or being a listening ear. I am always there supporting others through joys as well as struggles because that is what a relationship is about. 

My relationship with my husband is one of the best partnerships I have. He truly is my best friend and I am so lucky that our paths happened to cross all those years ago. Having been married almost fifteen years has taught us many lessons that have made us stronger. We always tell each other everything with honesty and are always there to support one another with any challenges one might be facing. This was something we have worked hard towards for many years. We has only known one another for six months prior to being married and then exception our first child together. We have had many trials over the years from suffering multiple miscarriages to our fathers passing away within six weeks of one another to raising a child with special needs. Each of these factors has always brought us together and we have made it out stronger each time. Some days one of us may want to just check out or many need some space and we respect this for one another because everyone needs a little space and offering this space has allowed us to maintain our partnership all these years. 

As my son grows into a young man, I am proud to be his mother and see what life brings him. He has autism and that has not been an easy road for him but he knows I am always here to support him. I offer him an unbiased and honest opinions with his struggles. We have had many discussions about how things happen for "typical" people so he can understand how to do things like his peers. It took us many years to get to where we are today. Lots of tears and frustration along the way have brought us to where we are now and I love the we share a bond of openness that will last into his adult years.

I have been so fortunate to live in many places that my collection of friends just grows with each move. Being a part of the military community is unique and friendships happen quickly, as we are all used to the routine of meeting new people. A challenge with this is finding the "right" fiends. Too many times have I eagerly entered in a friendship to learn it was not the best one for me. Over the years I have learned to slow down and become much more acquainted with someone before forming that relationship with them. Since my lifestyle is still quite nomadic, I keep in touch with ladies from all over the United States through social media and some of my stronger relationships through a weekly or monthly text. Maintaining these friendships over the years has not been easy and some fall to the wayside while others stay strong. Making the effort on my part as well as my friend making an effort on her part lets me know how lucky I am to have a true friendship with that person. 

Knowing how to be reciprocal in a relationship/partnership is so important when it comes to being an early childhood professional. Somedays a member for your teaching team may not be there 100% and you will stand by that person and lend that helping hand to get her through because one day you may need that support. Taking the time to step back and truly listen to one another is something I have cultivated in my many relationships and it has helped me be the professional I am today I am grateful to have this skill in my field of work.

Immunization

The topic and discussion of immunization is always something causes a stir.

Unicef.org

Do I vaccinate or not? 

What if the immunizations causes another disorder? 

These diseases are old so why vaccinate?

As a Army veteran, I am vaccinated more than most people due to various deployments and moves. I carry the scar of the smallpox immunization and I have had the full series of inoculations for anthrax so there was never a question as to whether or not my child would receive routine vaccinations. 

Unicef.org

People live wonderful lives due immunizations because without them each person would be susceptible to many illnesses and diseases. Thinking of history, Jonas Salk (inventor of the polio vaccination) chose to not patent it so it could be released to the masses instantly and be readily available for all. 

Before beginning my research for more information about immunizations around the world, I knew right away one orgainization that provides so much to struggling countries and populations; Unicef.

Unicef.org

Within my searches, I was surprised to see the amount of countries that struggle with providing immunizations and one of these is Guinea. This country boasts a population of just over 12.5 billion and yet only "57% fully immunized against DPT" at age one according to Unicef. Comparing this to the information about the United States that shows a "fully immunized rate of 95%" at age one. The DPT vaccinations covers the diseases diphtheria, pertussis, and tetanus which can all cause death if not treated promptly thus making immunization for these vital.

While many countries face countless more struggles than the United States, it is important to provide these countries with the opportunities to grow strong. Immunizations are one way to do this by providing vaccinations for preventing illnesses or diseases to infants and also the population as a whole.

Birth Stories

It has been many years since my son was brought into this world. He is thirteen but much closer to fourteen at this point. He was born in a military hospital in Germany so even though he was born in a foreign country he is an American and the hospital stay was that of a typical American hospital. 

Tre was born on February 17, 2005 at 3:18 pm. A cesarean birth was scheduled as he presented in a transverse breech position. We were due at the hospital very early and waited all morning and most of the afternoon for an available surgical team to come up to the maternity floor. The process was very easy and straightforward in terms of anesthesia getting placed and the doctor explaining every step to me. After a short time my son was born. I was then taken to the recovery floor for the spinal block anesthesia to wear off and my husband and son were in our room. Here comes the part of the story that I feel is a missed opportunity and since I was young and did not know any better about the crucial bonding that happens within the beginning hours of a childs life. Since I was on another floor recovering, my son was never brought down to me. I spent about six hours alone, my husband was going back and forth as much as he could but our son really needed him. After my doctor had done his rounds and saw I was not with my son he made a call to have me moved immediately up to my room. We stayed for three whole days in the hospital, which is typical for a cesarean birth. All the days that followed were a blur and when I look back now I clearly had no clue with what I was doing, being only nineteen, but I always chuckle as he is a wonderful young man today. 

Finally holding my son after a long time in recovery.

Our Tre. Always so content. 

I choose to share this simply because I feel many young mothers do not fully know how to handle a situation like mine. I did not know how beneficial those early bonding moments are and I did suffer from some depression afterward. My son was overall healthy and I had only been around for the birth of my niece and nephew so I did not know fully what to expect so knowing how great the of an impact the traumas of birth can have on a child helps me understand some of the difficulties babies and young children face. Even now with some of my own students, I will ask the parents to tell me their child's story so I can better understand any struggles the child may have had so I can offer the best environment. 

When I become pregnant again, we were still living in Germany but this time in a different area and my prenatal care started with a native Germany doctor. He spoke english very well and the office was very accommodating to my needs as I was labeled high risk because of the cause for my first borns breech position. Unfortunately, I did have a miscarriage with this birth at seventeen weeks. I was admitted to the local German hospital for a dilation and curettage (D&C) to ensure I did not get an infection. My experience with this hospital and staff was a bit difficult as I admitted late in the evening and at this point the majority of the English speaking staff had gone home for the day. I was placed in a room which I would have had a roommate had there been a need for another patient to be admitted to the maternity ward as it is their custom to have at least two people to a room unless you want to pay extra for a private room. Speaking with a couple of friends of mine and reviewing the post "Giving Birth in Germany on Military Moms Blog, I know of the many differences between a birth in the United States as compared to one in Germany. The prenatal care is much more through in terms of ensuring birth mom and baby are healthy as well as more natural and holistic in Germany. Also, another thing some Germany woman who have married a service member always laugh about when being attended to by an American doctor is how you are measured with a tape measure for the development of you baby as this is not something done locally there. Almost always a midwife will be assigned to the mother for the duration of the pregnancy as well as for the birth. A doctor is present but the midwife really takes the lead. For the hospital stay, you must bring all of your own toiletries as nothing is provided and occasionally a bathroom/shower will not be in the room. The stay in the hospital after giving birth is no longer than that of one in the United States as long as mom and baby are healthy. 

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