This week, I completed an online assessment of my listening and communication skills. I felt as though I was quite confident and honest with my responses and we pleased with the self-assessment. I asked my husband and teenage son to complete the same assessments about me, and while their scores were different, I know they answered as honestly as each of them could which led to results that I felt described me more accurately. According to my own assessment, I was in the action-oriented section which described me as being more direct as well as more professional but also more fierce to some. The assessments from my husband and son both yielded the result of being people-oriented. They both see me as considerate, overly trusting, and concerned for others. I feel as though the assessment from my husband and son are truly who I am in my daily life. I like to think of myself as more stern or direct but I really am kind and try to please as well as trust everyone, even if it can be detrimental to myself.
Taking the time to get to know someone before forming any ideas or judgements is very important. Everyone has a background and story to share, so it is important to offer each person this honor and respect. Formulating a notion first is truly unfair and can cause you to miss out on an opportunity. I have done this in the past and I truly regretted it. When I first met a now dear friend to me, I thought she and I would have zero in common for superficial reasons but a few months later and me taking the time to talk and get to know her, I learned we had a lot in common. It was truly unfair for me to do that to someone and I would not want someone to do that to me. Since I am quite guarded and introverted to those who I do not know, I often come across as someone who does not like someone and I miss out on valuable time with friends. It has taken me months to a year before forming a true friendship and then I usually have to more which is always so saddening. I hope to learn to open up easier with people so they do not judge me as not liking them so I can have more time with friends.
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Practicing Awareness of Microagressions
With my experience of working in a predominantly male field while serving in the United States Army, I was often stereotyped as a "girl" and the ideas of me being weak and emotional. Often times I would hear others telling someone to pick something up for me but I would pull my weight and lift the heavy pieces of equipment like everyone else. I would strive to be as good or even better than my male counterparts when it came to doing push-up and sit-ups. I refused to be seen as weak or less than someone else simply because of my gender.
Reflecting on the ideas of microagressions, it is very important to note the power your words have. While the comment may seem harmless, there is real power behind them and it is important to consider the full ramifications of these words. Also, our prejudices and stereotypes feed into these microagressions, so it is vital for a person to be aware of these as to ensure that harm is not caused by comments that can come from using personal ideas or beliefs when speaking with others.
Reflecting on the ideas of microagressions, it is very important to note the power your words have. While the comment may seem harmless, there is real power behind them and it is important to consider the full ramifications of these words. Also, our prejudices and stereotypes feed into these microagressions, so it is vital for a person to be aware of these as to ensure that harm is not caused by comments that can come from using personal ideas or beliefs when speaking with others.
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Communicating With Others
When it comes to my life, I feel as though I wear many "hats" in terms of who I am with, I may have to change to a different hat. The reason for this is simply because some hats tend to stand out in certain situations so it is important to be in the correct context for the situation. At work with my students and colleagues, I have a teacher hat that is more patient and mindful of the communication taking place. At home, I have my mom hat that is a little less patient but very honest and caring with my son as well as my husband because this is a safe place for us all to relax. On the phone with my siblings, I have my sister hat that is the punk kid that through the insults and jokes around but also is supportive of each of them as I know each on is of me. These are just a few examples of my daily life and the many hats I often exchange.
Thinking of the habits of who we are and how we communicate, it is important to be aware of these how each of these can be a factor in how a person behaves in certain situations or around particular people. Vuckovic (2008) defines habits as "an established custom, frequently dominates behavior, often unconsciously" (p. 54). If a person is able to reflect and understand his or her habits, it will offer an insight to where some habits are appropriate and where they may not be as welcomed.
Emotions are always a component to all the things we do in life. We have certain passions and certain disdains. Being aware of how these influence and are a part of certain groups is a way for someone to communicate more effectively. Vuckovic (2008) explains how "emotions, once invoked, moderate the nature of the communication situation" (p. 55). As there are some instances where my emotions have to be more controlled, such as when i am at work, it is important that I use those to fuel the passion of what I am doing but also ensure that I am not crossing a boundary. Having a self-awareness of emotions offers the opportunity to be a better communicator.
As my son attended a weekly social group for teen with autism, it was a great discussion for our car ride home because he learned of nonverbal communication this week. Knowing how to utilize this form of communication in varying situations can offer someone the opportunity to be more effective and intentional. It is important to behave appropriately in each situation. While often with my family I am able to be more animated but at work, I have to maintain better composure and so knowing how to control my nonverbal communication is important.
Reference:
Thinking of the habits of who we are and how we communicate, it is important to be aware of these how each of these can be a factor in how a person behaves in certain situations or around particular people. Vuckovic (2008) defines habits as "an established custom, frequently dominates behavior, often unconsciously" (p. 54). If a person is able to reflect and understand his or her habits, it will offer an insight to where some habits are appropriate and where they may not be as welcomed.
Emotions are always a component to all the things we do in life. We have certain passions and certain disdains. Being aware of how these influence and are a part of certain groups is a way for someone to communicate more effectively. Vuckovic (2008) explains how "emotions, once invoked, moderate the nature of the communication situation" (p. 55). As there are some instances where my emotions have to be more controlled, such as when i am at work, it is important that I use those to fuel the passion of what I am doing but also ensure that I am not crossing a boundary. Having a self-awareness of emotions offers the opportunity to be a better communicator.
As my son attended a weekly social group for teen with autism, it was a great discussion for our car ride home because he learned of nonverbal communication this week. Knowing how to utilize this form of communication in varying situations can offer someone the opportunity to be more effective and intentional. It is important to behave appropriately in each situation. While often with my family I am able to be more animated but at work, I have to maintain better composure and so knowing how to control my nonverbal communication is important.
Reference:
Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative
action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.
action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.
Perspectives on Diversity and Culture
Speaking with three others about the what diversity and cultures means to them was very interesting. While each seemed to offer a generic response that was safe in many ways, it was still intriguing to listen to each one form the sentences to articulate these definitions.
First, my sister defined culture as being your heritage and your background with diversity being how you are different from others such as your skin color.
Second, my husband defined culture as who you are and where you come from with diversity being your race.
Last, an old friend from high school explained culture as the "mannerisms and customs of those with similar backgrounds based on customs and beliefs" with diversity being "variety".
While it seems to that who you are is your culture from not only the discussions and resources presented throughout this course, but this is also shared through the answers I received. Derman-Sparks & Edwards define culture as "how particular groups of people live" (p. 55). The three definitions above all lend to this same definition but with each persons own perspective or view of how it has applied within his or her own life. Diversity is also the same, it is a noticeable difference between you and others. Diversity makes you different from others but is not in a negative connotation.
Learning how much in-depth culture is, a lot of aspects have been omitted from the definitions provided by family and friends. Such as education, gender, language, values, religion, and community for a short list (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 56). While many may understand how all of these impact the culture of a person, these ideas are not readily considered when asked simply because we often only think of the surface as opposed to digging deeper. Thinking of diversity, the explanation of "variety" truly offers the insight of how different people are when defining this term. There is so much more than race or skin tone when it comes to diversity such as economic status, accents, hair color, or dialect for some quick examples.
As I was receiving each one of these responses, my mind was racing and thinking "oh you don't get it" because of the many discussions as well as learning resources offered to me through not only this course but also previous ones. Through this journey of earning my graduate degree, I have been offered the opportunity to learn on a deeper level of what makes up diversity and culture. I want to have conversations with each of these people and offer each one a deeper discussion of these topics to offer a chance to widen the view of these definitions of how each of these impacts not only the people the person encounters but also the individual. It is okay to dig deeper and reach those topics that many may be embarrassed to mention simply because of the potential for judgement from other.
Reference
Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J.O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).
First, my sister defined culture as being your heritage and your background with diversity being how you are different from others such as your skin color.
Second, my husband defined culture as who you are and where you come from with diversity being your race.
Last, an old friend from high school explained culture as the "mannerisms and customs of those with similar backgrounds based on customs and beliefs" with diversity being "variety".
While it seems to that who you are is your culture from not only the discussions and resources presented throughout this course, but this is also shared through the answers I received. Derman-Sparks & Edwards define culture as "how particular groups of people live" (p. 55). The three definitions above all lend to this same definition but with each persons own perspective or view of how it has applied within his or her own life. Diversity is also the same, it is a noticeable difference between you and others. Diversity makes you different from others but is not in a negative connotation.
Learning how much in-depth culture is, a lot of aspects have been omitted from the definitions provided by family and friends. Such as education, gender, language, values, religion, and community for a short list (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 56). While many may understand how all of these impact the culture of a person, these ideas are not readily considered when asked simply because we often only think of the surface as opposed to digging deeper. Thinking of diversity, the explanation of "variety" truly offers the insight of how different people are when defining this term. There is so much more than race or skin tone when it comes to diversity such as economic status, accents, hair color, or dialect for some quick examples.
As I was receiving each one of these responses, my mind was racing and thinking "oh you don't get it" because of the many discussions as well as learning resources offered to me through not only this course but also previous ones. Through this journey of earning my graduate degree, I have been offered the opportunity to learn on a deeper level of what makes up diversity and culture. I want to have conversations with each of these people and offer each one a deeper discussion of these topics to offer a chance to widen the view of these definitions of how each of these impacts not only the people the person encounters but also the individual. It is okay to dig deeper and reach those topics that many may be embarrassed to mention simply because of the potential for judgement from other.
Reference
Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J.O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Communication Interpretation
I chose the show For the People for this blog as I have yet to watch the show as I have not heard of it before until recent weeks of promotional commercials for the second season.
While watching the show for the first time, with the sound muted, I noticed how many of the characters appeared to be strangers starting a new journey as lawyers as each one is introduced one by one in a courthouse setting. There seems to be light exchanges between them all as one by one each one enters the scene. As the show progresses, there is some relationships shown in how a few of the characters are all in the same apartment but all of the other characters are strangers just learning to work with one another it seems.
The exchanges between them all seem quite intense and aggressive from the eye contact that seems to always be maintained when the characters are interacting. There was an occasional smile but overall every exchange regardless of whether the characters had a previous relationship or acquaintance with the other was quite competitive.
Watching the show again with the sound on, it was clear that each character is quite competitive as each is beginning his or her journey as either a public defender or a prosecutor (Davies, 2018). Each character is quite intense with his or her interactions as each one is working on difficult cases which it is always important to do his or her best and conclude with a positive outcome for the client. Accenting, which according to O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Tevin (2015) describes as "clarifying and emphasizing specific information in a verbal message" is used widely through out the episode to really show the aggressive of each character (p. 97).
If I were able to watch for example The Office, which I am extremely familiar with, I would have been able to know exactly the relationship as well as the context of the delivery of the information being conveyed. This show is one that I have viewed a multitude of times so I already know the relationships of the characters as well as how the subtle non verbal communication builds the show.
I have always found it quite difficult to begin a new show simply because I am not familiar with the characters as well as how each one expresses him or herself. Understanding how communication plays a role in the interactions could help me in the future to decode the relationships between characters early one so I am able to follow the show better instead of it taking about four episodes for me to understand the context.
References
Davies, P. W. (Writer). (2018, March 13). Pilot [Television series episode]. In For the People. Burbank, California: ABC.
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
While watching the show for the first time, with the sound muted, I noticed how many of the characters appeared to be strangers starting a new journey as lawyers as each one is introduced one by one in a courthouse setting. There seems to be light exchanges between them all as one by one each one enters the scene. As the show progresses, there is some relationships shown in how a few of the characters are all in the same apartment but all of the other characters are strangers just learning to work with one another it seems.
The exchanges between them all seem quite intense and aggressive from the eye contact that seems to always be maintained when the characters are interacting. There was an occasional smile but overall every exchange regardless of whether the characters had a previous relationship or acquaintance with the other was quite competitive.
Watching the show again with the sound on, it was clear that each character is quite competitive as each is beginning his or her journey as either a public defender or a prosecutor (Davies, 2018). Each character is quite intense with his or her interactions as each one is working on difficult cases which it is always important to do his or her best and conclude with a positive outcome for the client. Accenting, which according to O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Tevin (2015) describes as "clarifying and emphasizing specific information in a verbal message" is used widely through out the episode to really show the aggressive of each character (p. 97).
If I were able to watch for example The Office, which I am extremely familiar with, I would have been able to know exactly the relationship as well as the context of the delivery of the information being conveyed. This show is one that I have viewed a multitude of times so I already know the relationships of the characters as well as how the subtle non verbal communication builds the show.
I have always found it quite difficult to begin a new show simply because I am not familiar with the characters as well as how each one expresses him or herself. Understanding how communication plays a role in the interactions could help me in the future to decode the relationships between characters early one so I am able to follow the show better instead of it taking about four episodes for me to understand the context.
References
Davies, P. W. (Writer). (2018, March 13). Pilot [Television series episode]. In For the People. Burbank, California: ABC.
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
My Family Culture
Having to value the items in my life is not incredibly difficult. There are items that I use daily that if I were not to have, I would feel rather lost without. If I were to only have the option to choose three items to carry forward with me to a new nation after surviving a devastating catastrophe with my family, those items would be:
- My iPhone as this hold the majority of the pictures of my family as well as my main means of communication with others who are dear to me. Also, all of my music is dowloaded to this device and music is how I work through major transition as well as tough situations.
- My nook book hold so many books on one device. As it would be too difficult to choose only one book to carry forward, I know my nook book will have quite a few downloaded for me.
- My headphones as I often need to be in my own space with myself and headphones offer peace for me. I wear them while shopping, running, cleaning the house, and many other occasions.
Connecting my passion for these items is simple and I would hope that by showing how each of these work, many others can understand my connection to them. Each of these open up a world in which I can be with others or by myself and that is how I would explain to others who may not have seen these items before.
If I were to enter a new nation and I were only able to keep one of these items, it would be a rather easy choice for me due to the amount of content on my phone. This device truly keeps me connected and grounded and can, if needed, be used to read books and it has a speaker so I would not be completely without music to help me cope during rough times.
While I know many people do not necessarily use a phone for a primary means of music or photography, it is one that does it all for me. Understanding how this phone keeps me connecting to others is what really helps me understand the role it plays in my life. Just yesterday evening my ailing golden retriever was put to sleep so later that night, I was able to review his memories on my phone and reflect on the wonderful life he had and how truly lucky I was to have him. I am sure others will have chosen other items such as bakeware, computer, coffee pot, and that shows how each of us are able to value many different items dependent upon our culture and background.
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Effective Communicator
My high school orchestra teacher, Mr. Larson, was an effective communicator. He could inspire many to add the next level of emotion when playing music. There was always a care and presence within his voice that would bring about an understanding that may have been lacking before. While this was not always the case with him. When I first encountered him as a summer camp, he was quite hot tempered and would often yell to invoke this emotion but as he later explained how he learned this was not healthy for him and did not convey the information properly, he had since learned how to speak with out the harsh tone.
Thinking of the above paragraph and learning from his missteps, I definitely would model my communication after him. The reason for this, is I have learned that it does not take super emotion or loud works to express oneself or even get other to listen. It simply takes compassion and that is what I always hope to convey with my own students to this day.
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| Photo Credit: Paula Macpherson-Cochran |
Thinking of the above paragraph and learning from his missteps, I definitely would model my communication after him. The reason for this, is I have learned that it does not take super emotion or loud works to express oneself or even get other to listen. It simply takes compassion and that is what I always hope to convey with my own students to this day.
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